When our fourth baby Miles was born at 29 weeks in June 2019 we started our long journey through neonatal. I immediately started expressing as I knew from previous experience that he would need breastmilk to help him get healthy and strong. I was extremely lucky to have a large oversupply of milk and after a few weeks, I contacted the Milk Bank at Chester to sign up to be a milk donor.

Having been a donor with each of my children before I knew the process and knew that the milk bank worked hard to make it as simple as possible. Through every stage of my donation journey, the milk bank was wonderful. It was a genuine pleasure to get to know the team, to see the volunteer drivers every few weeks when they collected my milk, and to completely trust how well taken care of my milk donation was each time.

Having seen first hand the difference even tiny amounts of breastmilk can make to the tiny vulnerable babies in neonatal, I knew that this was something I was meant to do. Right from the beginning, I was strictly expressing eight times a day, and I quickly got myself into a routine of separating milk for Miles and milk for the milk bank. Miles’s milk came with me each day to neonatal and my donor milk was frozen and stored in our ‘milk’ freezer. It quickly became a job our whole family became involved in!

I have loved being a milk donor and there are three particular days in my donor journey that I will treasure forever:

1. On the day that Miles came home after being in neonatal for ten weeks I was doing my final pump on the unit in the expressing room. I was feeling super emotional until the volunteer from the milk bank arrived with the latest batch of milk for the vulnerable babies on the unit who needed it. I knew that there was a good chance my donated milk was in that batch and my heart sang. It felt like such a privilege to know that I was leaving a gift behind for babies still there.

2. My first donor milk collection after Miles came home felt amazing. After so many collections while he was still in hospital, it was so lovely to have him with us to meet the volunteer and to take my favourite photograph of him surrounded by my donor milk!

3. The day Laura from the milk bank phoned me back in 2020 during the first peak of the pandemic to ask if I might possibly consider donating for a little longer. I was so happy to be able to continue donating, especially during this strange and difficult time. Ordinarily, donors are able to donate until their baby is around nine months, however, due to the pandemic the milk bank was able to extend the age and I was able to donate for nearly six months longer. That felt amazing!

Being a milk donor has been a huge and amazing part of our family over the years. It is an experience I will treasure forever, and I encourage anyone who is thinking of donating to go for it, it is a wonderful gift to be able to give.

I saw on Twitter that you’re looking for testimonials for those who have used donor milk. This is about our experience of using Hearts Milk Bank.

I have had lactation issues (still unsure why) with all three of my children but this is the first time I’ve ever used Hearts Milk Bank.

Ares is now 6 weeks – approaching 7 weeks old. The support we have received from the team has been absolutely incredible and we could not be happier and more grateful.

Thank you for all that you do. Thank you does not convey the depth of gratitude that I feel for not just the milk but the kindness that Jo in particular has shown us. It’s an emotional rollercoaster, using donor milk. I used it with my second child and used formula with my first. I’ve had a lot of trauma in my life and breastfeeding grief is just one of those things.

I supplemented Ares from 24hours old and am glad I did. It was hard to accept I would need to but he is doing so well that he is in 3-6 clothes already – indeed he was born overdue. Knowing that he was being fed with milk from donors that had been verified as safe meant a lot to me.

Although I wish I could exclusively breastfeed, I am confident that the support from HMB has contributed to my relative success in providing more milk to him from my own breast than I did with my other children, as I felt secure and supported as well as trusting of the team.

My son was stillborn on day 1 of lockdown so being able to donate my milk has been a huge comfort to me, especially during such an isolating time. The drivers are like the cogs in the machine, it couldn’t happen without them. If it helps to bring on more volunteer drivers or donors, I’d be more than happy to help. A lot of other mums who I have chatted to about their experience after stillbirth were not aware that milk donation was an option for them and I think a lot would have found it therapeutic if they had known about it.

My mother had a similar experience with me in the 1970s after a traumatic forceps birth, PPH & separation from me for a few days. To quote the 1972s midwife “she would probably be better on cow and gate anyway”. She never forgot this.

I found my six days in hospital emotionally difficult, and felt I was running a gauntlet not to use formula. As I recall, three paediatriains of increasing seniority came to me to discuss why I was “refusing” to use formula.

In terms of what donor milk has meant for me – it bought me time to learns about breast feeding and how to optimise my own milk production.